The Novel Romance of the Song Writer

Ten days ago, a person by the name of guitar man came on the writer's site authonomy and introduce himself as a song writer who thought he might get inspired enough to possibly write a novel.  Something about his post spoke to the heart and soul of this used to be poet and want to be song writer, and so, he inspired me.  Two hours later, I posted what he inspired me to write.  Then, something must have happened, because he deleted himself from the site.  Now, I don't know whether someone was yanking my chain, or if I made him uncomfortable.  I hope he only got inspired and left the site to start his novel, however, when he left, he took his thread with him, and that which he inspired in me.  So, I'll share it here.

The Novel Romance of the Song Writer

You know how you get a tune in your head

And you really just can't shake it

You know it's trying to tell you something

But you really can't quite make it

It runs through your head all day and night

A relentless melody

You ignore all outside influence

Until it's all you can see

It's not the notes that sucker you in

Though at first you thought it true

Its actually the beat, the rhythm you feel

That really speaks to you

Still the tune will keep you company

As you work the beat in your head

From dawn to dusk and in between

And even in your bed

Then a moment in time, the flood breaks forth

And the words come flowing free

And nothing can stop you from writing it down

If you're anything at all like me

Then you wonder at the tunes that brought the words

And why they came and whence

And you work them around and change them until

They can't be recognized since

Beware the rhythm, you young song writer

What romances the heart and mind

For they'll tug at the soul of the writer in you

To the epic score you will find

With a grand crescendo you'll take pen in hand

And start to tell a tale

A ballad is what you planned to do

What shortly becomes a whale

Then before you know it, before you're aware

You're adding the in-betweens

The sentences that tell the whole, long story

Of detail in the scenes

No longer will you sit to write brief encounters

Of only two or three

Four, six, and eight, your characters will amount

As the novelist in you is set free.

2013 and Welcome Uncle John

It's a brand new year!!!  And with the new year, I want to welcome Ask Uncle John to my honourable mentions list.  Please feel free to check out his link, and view a delightful excerpt from his new book "Sneaky Tricks, for snagging dates and meeting people," which he was nice enough to send me, signed, of course (along with two other books of his, signed).  "Sneaky Tricks" is a comical instructive guide on dating, with a lot of common sense mixed in.  Entertaining as it is educational, you will find the answers to most everything about dating that you never knew or even considered before you were told there was a manual.

I am now fully immersed in another of his books, "Goodbye Lucifer."  I will be back to give you a review of this (so far) hilarious story, after I have finished it and mulled it over in my mind.  Until then, check out his other offerings by clicking on his link and following his prompts!  I'm certain you'll enjoy his unique sense of humour.

http://sneakytricks.blogspot.com/

Every Four Years I Get Older

For a short period of time, once every four years, a strange thing happens, and for me to cope, sometimes, I need every extra nerve pill I can find. The only thing that saves my sanity is the realization that this, too, shall pass. At some point during this period, I wake up to the fact that too many of my friends are politically minded, and not necessarily in the way I am. It is as though some government entity comes in during the dark hours of the night and builds an invisible fence between me and everyone else I know. And while it is inconvenient, even I have to acknowledge that it serves a distinct purpose.

Election day is finally here, and within a week to ten days, I feel confident that life will return to normal, or at least as normal as my life has ever been, and my friends will once again be my friends. This year, however, has been unique with issues that should not ever have been issues, at all, and life may be altered from what i...

t has always been before. This year, emotions have been stirred and it has come to a head in my head. Due to the thoughtlessness and irresponsible politics of this election, and quite possibly my age and intolerance of the status quo without consideration, I have changed my habit of keeping my mouth shut and ignoring all those things I used to let slide off my back.

I have to go vote, now, but I will be back, and I will come back different. Gone are the days when I just shut up and turn a blind eye to the trends of the day and the representation of politicians who dismiss the issues that effect me as unimportant because they don't effect them. Unfortunately, I will come back more vocal and more outspoken than anyone would ever want me to be, and although I would hate to lose any of my friends because of it, these are changing times and we have to change with them or be considered fools for not having adjusted.

So, this is good-bye to those who won't be able to tolerate the new me, and a thanks to others for accepting me as I adapt to who the past fifty years has made me become. It's been a roller-coaster ride and I'm not ready to get off just yet, but instead will declare my independence as I move on from this date. Cheers!

You can ignore me. I don't know what I'm talking about.

Of Unicorns And Pegasuses - Published!!!

YES!!! I just received the first shipment of my erotic novel "Of Unicorns And Pegasuses" and it is now available on Amazon in soft cover format here:

http://www.amazon.com/Unicorns-Pegasuses-Book-Temptress-Witch/dp/1477581081/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1339885217&sr=1-1&keywords=Of+Unicorns+And+Pegasuses

For those to whom I promised a signed copy, please be certain that I have your current shipping address. This is a 7" X 10" standard library sized book at 418 pages, and packaged for shipping, it will not fit into a P.O. box. If you have a P.O. box address for receiving, be sure to ask the P.O. employee at the desk if you have a package. The standard paperback issue has not been formatted, yet.

For those who were hoping for the more cost efficient eBook edition, I am sorry to say that there is a delay due to formatting difficulties. In other words, I'm too friggin' stupid to do the upload to my satisfaction to release it at this time. Please be patient, I hope to get there, soon.

For those who are not inclined to read erotica and will not be purchasing a copy of my book, I understand. I did not expect to make everyone happy, and this book was written for a particular purpose, but hopefully, I will be able to write something you would enjoy, at a later date.

The Aggravation of Limitations

I see by my notes, that last I was going to write was in February.  I didn't make it in here then and, as my mind is still a bit fuzzy on those days, I can only think that the weather here turned off toward Spring and I came out of hibernation earlier than expected.  It has been almost five years since the big flood and, while most of the damage has been removed to the landfill and the land has been reclaimed, there are still vacant houses and lots and unclaimed areas to the south that bear mold and cause allergies and respiratory distress whenever the wind blows toward me in the north.  Some people like me, who never outgrew the hayfever symptoms of their youth, remain housebound, popping antihistamines and going through box after box of Kleenex, while our heads throbbed to the beat of our hearts and so unrelentingly that we can't think straight.

That aside, I was working on my book and questioning whether there was room in the world for an epic erotic novel.  When totally finished, my book ended up being over 152,000 words, exceeding 900 pages (although double-spaced), which by publishing standards is extremely long, and quite frankly, undesirable.  As I researched publishers, I was shocked to find that most preferred manuscript submissions of 50,000 to 80,000 words, maximum.  I thought there was no way I could possibly cut my book in half and still have the plot and characters that made it the story it was.  Even the kind suggestion that I make two books out of the one was considered, but found to be impossible, as the first half of the book does not stand alone by itself, but continuously feeds to the second half.  A local author I know suggested that I check out some of the free self-publishing services such as createspace-dot-com and lulu-dot-com, but even their publishing specifications seemed limited to a maximum of 750-page manuscripts, well short of what I required.

As authors, we don’t give thought to the publishing end of our craft.  We tell a tale and embellish a story with all of the flavor and colors that bring the landscape to life for those readers who have never seen the world we are describing to them, and we never give word counts and number of pages a thought, when such things should actually be the first things considered.  It’s like trying to put 500mg of your most favorite fantasy drug into one dose, it becomes a very large and bitter pill to swallow, as does the idea of trimming and cutting your over-sized manuscript to fit into x-number of publishers’ pages.  As authors, we want to write, we love to write, and writing is all that we want to do.  We don’t want to be burdened with the publishing end or the binding details.  If the book isn’t big enough to hold my story, then add more pages.  What’s the big deal?  But that’s not how publishing works, and so, enters the editing phase to rectify the problem.

In my search and research, I did find what I considered to be my ideal publisher, with a maximum of 120,000 words, it became a goal to reach in editing out over 32,000 words to make them and me a happy couple, and it was an even bigger challenge than was writing the book.  Perfectionist that I am, editing does not come easily to me, but as I started out, I tried to think as any good editor would, and I red-lined everything that I knew would be deleted as unnecessary to the story. In my first edit, I trimmed only 30 pages (approx. 2 chapters), but I told myself it was a good start and set myself for the second attempt.  Perfectionist that I am, I knew I could do better.  In my second edit, I removed 3 chapters and approximately 8,000 words, and I thought I was getting pretty good at this editing stuff.  But I still had a long way to go.  I was only down to 144,700 words total, 24,000+ words off my mark, and I had hated what I had done.

It was at this point that I had to take a break.  I wanted to get away from it for a while and give my mind something lively to feast upon.  A bit of reading, a movie or two, a computer game or two, a trip to town and an encounter with some local bullies, and I came back thinking that was not the person I thought myself to be.  I am an aspiring author, I can try to be, anyway, if I can just get the book down to 120,000 words.  With renewed determination, I cut another 1,500 words, and went at it yet again.  I resisted and fought the inevitable, but eventually cut my words until my story lay wounded and bleeding, and I sat injured beyond repair and forgiveness.  Non-conformist that I am, I put them all back, well, nearly all.  There were a few words I could live without, but the bulk was returned and the story I had told was made whole again.  In truth, I cannot compromise the telling of my tale for the comfort of a publisher.  And so, I resolved to undertake the publishing, myself.

In the meantime, the book has withstood a private reading with good review, and several public readings of good review with requests to flesh out the characters more.  This is something I declined to do for personal reasons, and those reasons have not changed to date.  The characters were real people and I gave them fake names, and I must maintain their anonymity as promised.  This is a mute issue.  As for the many people who have read the book in its entirety, the general complaint was that it did not end, or that I could not end it that way, or that I left it open to a sequel, and they all wanted more.  And while the sequel has been started and is a work in progress, it has been shelved for the time being.

I did send my book off in an e-file for publication, and it came back in about ten days, as a book.  Yes, it is just that easy.  I chose createspace-dot-com, which is a print-on-demand publisher, and I now have a printed and bound proof copy of my efforts in my hand.  And I must say, it is a very satisfying and encouraging feeling to have gotten this far.  Of course, I am now editing my proof copy, and with any luck at all, my printed book will be available on createspace, and the ebook version will be available on amazon-dot-com for Kindle users (after I learn to manage the formatting process) by the end of May 2012.

And so, it is almost done and done, and I shall soon enter the time of my sequel and the end of my story.

Welcome to Fr. Ambrose

And here I am again, late as is usual.  You should be getting accustomed to me disappearing on you, but I'm not.  It's not that I haven't been busy, but I have been ill with this diabetes thingie.  Not that that is an excuse, and I have been busy with my book, but I'll leave that as a teaser, for now, because I'm not here to talk about me, exactly.

Today is Fr. Ambrose's day, and I wish to introduce and welcome him and a link to his blog from across the pond (yes, another UKer) to my sidebar ----->.  Please, feel free to visit and follow this newly published author and check out his new book The Holy Innocents which is now available on Amazon Kindle and can be found here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Holy-Innocents-ebook/dp/B00823BL32/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1336852763&sr=1-1  As always, please be aware that the (amazon.co.uk) link is quoting prices in UK currency and will be different in US dollars.

I found Fr. Ambrose making his presence known on one of my favourite sites, http://www.authonomy.com/ and am honoured to place his blog link among my other favourites and wish him every success on his new book.  Check it out, The Holy Innocents, and don't forget to rate and review.

6 Months and Nothing New ... Almost

I have to admit, having gotten distracted by my epic erotic novel and trying to figure out responsible ways of dealing with it, I've left this blog languish and made it seem as though nothing new has happened in the Dungeon.  But that is not altogether true.  For those who can't seem to get it to work over there on Lulu dot com, here is my short story entry, which is a free download there, even if you can't get it to work, because you couldn't get it to work, or maybe you did.

Bobby, By Any Other Name

By GRH Wagner

He is older than I am.  He has always been older, and always will be.  And he is smarter than I am.  He knows everything, and what he doesn’t know; he is able to figure out.  He really is quite brilliant, and he is my secret best friend.

When I was younger, when I first met him, he told me I couldn’t tell anyone about him.  He said I would get into trouble if anyone found out that I talked to him.  I asked him why, and he said grown-ups wouldn’t believe someone like him should be a friend with someone like me.  I didn’t have any other friends, so I asked if there was something wrong about being my friend.  He said no, but that there was something wrong with me being his friend.

I didn’t really understand it all, back then, and I’m not entirely sure that I do, now.  But I trusted him, and so, I never told anyone about him.  Until now.  And I should say, now, his voice came to me as a thought or a feeling, not verbal, but an understanding that fed into my mind and a sensation that touched my heart.

I can still remember that very first day.  I had come home from school, jumping off the bus in a fit of agony, and running to the very top of the hill behind our house.  I did so quickly, before the tears in my eyes overwhelmed my vision and I was unable to see where I was going.  Then, I sat on a rocky western ledge and cried my heart out, wishing only that I could die and disappear from the face of the earth.  My chest ached so terribly I thought I could die of broken-heartedness.  And when I didn’t, it hurt so bad I thought it would be more bearable to throw myself from that lofty ledge and crumble into a mangled heap below; food for the scavengers.  At least, then I would serve a purpose, and have a reason for being.

But I was a coward at the age of eight, and there I sat, and wailed to the birds in the bush, and the rabbits what could hear, and the deer amongst the trees, and the bees what would care.  I cried to the point that I was spent and, having no strength to spare, I closed my eyes and hugged myself, sopping wet from my tears.  And then, I slept upon that rock.  A boulder is what it was.  And I awoke to the touch of a hand smoothing my hair and caressing away my cares.  I didn’t move, but stayed right there in that tender and soothing embrace.  Only when the warmth of the setting sun threatened to chill my skin, and the darkness of night came on and I should have long since been home, did I at last sit up to see who came to comfort me.

He was someone I had not met, and yet, I felt I already knew.   And in his eyes I saw his smile, and it touched me through and through.  Then, I turned my head and looked down the hill, and when I turned back to him, coveting the peace he did instill, I realized with dismay that he had distanced himself from me.  And without a word, he sent me back to the life from which I had run, and yet with the knowledge that he would be there should I find need of an invisible childhood friend.

Copyright © 2011 GRH Wagner

All rights reserved.

At this point, I should say that it started out as a new novel because the epic one I have been babying along was not so well received on a writer's website that has, up until now, consumed far too much of my time and energy.  I think it best to refrain from saying any more about the site, except to note that I was not completely ignored or disliked; there were four or five people who actually had nice comments for my writing. And so, one must realize that you cannot please all of the people all of the time.

The rest of those lost months were spent mostly on my novel.  I had sent it to some select friends and relatives in order to get some honest opinions, and while that wasn't a good idea, it has redirected my attention to specific editing issues that are within my abilities.  Realizing epic novels can be made up of more than one book, I believe I have been able to break mine into two, which will be of good news to those who like to wade through my ramblings.  If all works out to suit me, my readers will be able to get book one as a free download.  The bad news is that book one does not end, and is continued in book two, and the really bad news is that I've been told book two does not end, either, or it ends poorly.  Which is true, I'll not deny it.

I had ended my tale somewhat desperately at 900 and some pages, knowing I had gone on too long.  The orginal editing did not eliminate very much, nor very many pages, and I brought it to an end, when I really should have just taken a break and gone back to it later.  However, everything for a reason and all things in their own good time, I have started on the third book of what is now to be a trilogy.

And the best part of entering the Lulu Short Story contest was finding out how things work over there, familiarizing myself with the UPUB thingie and cover designs (just imagine it is blue), which I never did figure out to my satisfaction, and most of all the little details of epublishing, an entirely new world to me.

The long and short of it is, I did not take a vacation, or die (though I was sickly for part of the time) and I am back, and I will try never to leave you lingering for long, ever again.

I've actually missed you, but I'm back in The Dungeon and ready to reveal more Dark And Dampy things.